Feel like your happiness is hard to come by, and success is due to luck, or that you’re somehow unworthy? For once it’s not about you; the cure lies in shifting your focus from yourself to other people.
You are in good company
Do you recognize yourself in this?
There are a few personality types prone to postponing their happiness until they have sorted out some “important” details.
- “Perfectionists” set extremely high expectations for themselves, and even if they meet 99% of their goals, they’re going to feel like failures and can’t be truly happy. Any small mistake will make them question their own competence.
- “Experts” feel the need to know every piece of information before they start a project and constantly look for new certifications or trainings to improve their skills. They won’t apply for a job if they don’t meet all the criteria in the posting, and they might be hesitant to ask a question in class or speak up in a meeting at work because they’re afraid of looking stupid if they don’t already know the answer. Happiness seems very far away.
- “Geniuses” have to struggle or work hard to accomplish something, he or she thinks this means they aren’t good enough. They are used to skills coming easily, and when they have to put in effort, their brain tells them that’s proof they’re an impostor.
- “Soloists” feel they have to accomplish tasks on their own, and if they need to ask for help, they think that means they are a failure or a fraud.
- “Supermen” or “Superwomen” can only allow happiness to come via perfection. They push themselves to work harder than those around them to prove that they’re not impostors. They feel the need to succeed in all aspects of life—at work, as parents, as partners—and may feel stressed when they are not accomplishing something.
Extremely successful people aren't that different from you and me; they have just worked really, really hard to become exceptional.
You are not less than anyone else
To doubt oneself once in a while is normal. It’s when it turns into a regular occurrence that it is a good idea to do something about it.
The problem doesn’t lie with how you perceive yourself. The problem lies in how you perceive other successful people.
It’s easy to assume that highly successful people possess qualities you don’t have. Intelligence. Talent. Insight. Skill. They’re “special.” They have “it.” And you don’t.
But that’s never the case. Extremely successful people aren’t that different from you and me; they have just worked really, really hard to become exceptional at one thing.
There is a very simple solution
Instead of trying to see yourself for who YOU really are, start seeing other people for who THEY really are: normal people who have worked and learned and trained to do – not to be, but to do – a few things exceptionally well.
If you want to PRACTICE seeing yourself in a different light using some impactful power tools and transformational mindset shifts, then you are welcome to sign up for the Joy Booster Challenge below:
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Hello, I’m Joanna Armstrong, and I have been a therapist and mentor since 2009. Primarily, I use the unusually efficient method called Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT-tapping, with my clients.